Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Sometimes, Things are Hard

Anyone close to me knows that this year has been a year full of large changes for me. I have been going through a lot and my emotions have been all over the place. I've been reading over the things I have written throughout the past few months, and as crazy and emotional as they may be, I'm going to share a few at a time.


I’ve started to have changing feelings.
I’m not sure what direction they are taking me.
I feel empty, lost, but yet I am content.
I am losing you, you are losing me.
Do you know this? Do you know that you are pushing me away?
By the way we aren’t speaking, I think you know this.
Either that or you are hoping I’ll do the dirty work for you.
One minute I’m okay, the next I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.
I don’t know what to feel, so I’ll just ignore it.
Ignore the situation, the feelings, the loneliness.
Bringing me back to a time where I didn’t feel.
Where I desperately wanted to.
But I couldn’t feel a thing. Physically, emotionally, nothing.

Fighting back the tears, I sit here writing about you. About the relationship we have that I don’t even know exists anymore. Waiting for some evidence, closure, understanding, something, anything. Something that seemingly is never going happen. I don’t know what to do with us anymore, what to think. I don’t know what I want, or whats best, or whats necessary.




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