Learning to be alone

After getting out of a four and a half year relationship I found the dating world to be a confusing place. To be honest, I couldn't remember how to be single! Sad, but true, and I desperately wanted to make up for lost time (not the best decision at first). After making it through the hardest stage (heres hoping) I have found a few things that make being newly single not as overwhelming.

1. Reconnect with your friends! Many of us get so wrapped up in our relationships we don't have time for others. This is a time to get together with your guy friends your boyfriend was too jealous of, or the girls that he didn't approve of. Literally, anyone and everyone that you miss get in contact with.

• Surrounding yourself with many people who you care about will make the process easier. Break ups suck no matter whose choice it was. 

2. Do things to make you happy with yourself: Go to the gym, take an art class, read a book, get to know yourself again.

• Single you is much different from relationship you, especially if it has been such a long time since you have had to be by yourself. It is scary at first, but you will discover new things about yourself and fall in love with yourself all over again (and its great). 

3. Get out of your comfort zone. 

• Let me preface this by saying I have probably been on the worlds most awkward dates but opening yourself up to experience new things never ends badly, it just may give you a funny story to tell your friends.

4. Get Drunk

• There is nothing wrong with letting loose and going to the bars, but only a few weeks of this. You're going to have to deal with what you've been through eventually, might as well get it over with.

5. Clean out bad memories!

• Whether it was your choice or not to break up it is inevitable that you have things lying around reminding you of the other person. GET RID OF IT ALL! You're not a bad person for wanting to throw away pictures or journal pages, anything that reminds you of them, trash it! Its not healthy to live in the past and have reminders all around. Its time to make new memories. 

6. It is okay to cry

• At some point, all of the emotions are going to get to you, and that's okay! Its just another way of moving on and letting everything go. Sometimes its random, sometimes theres a reason, but no matter what don't be afraid to cry, it doesn't show weakness just humanity.

7. Focus on other things

• Focus on school work, or give yourself an art project, anything to keep your mind off of it. And yes, sometimes boys do work for this, but not for the long haul.

8. Forgive yourself/your ex

• You're not an asshole, you're not a bad person and neither are they. You fell out of love and it happens. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone makes choices that hurt other people, but in the end this is what is meant to happen, and you will benefit from it so so so much. 

9. Revenge is never the answer

• Whether you want to get revenge or your ex would like to get revenge on you..don't think about that or accept that negativity into your life. This is what is right for now, and no amount of anger will change that, it will only bring you down. 

10. Move on

• Easier said than done, but once you do you remember how amazing you are when you're by yourself. This doesn't mean you'll never think about them, but when you do think about them, it'll start to hurt less and less.